A Little Reminder

This was inspired by the thoughts running through my head as I scrolled through the highlight reel that is Instagram. It is very easy for an individual to feel less about themselves or feel the need to compare themselves to others when they’re constantly looking at the perfect moments of someone elses life. I am not beyond reproach to say that I’ve never scrolled past a picture and thought ” what does she have that I don’t have?” We’re human!! As humans we will have moments where experience…dare I say..envy!!! As dreadful as it sounds, its normal.

So what did I do? I unplugged and went for a walk. The beautiful thing about my neighborhood is that it has beautiful little trails that surround the ponds. Makes for a really nice moment to take in Gods creation. As I walked and got lost in my thoughts.. a voice came to me. The voice asked “do you need a reminder?” It then dawned on me that I needed a reminder of how blessed and favored I am. I needed to be reminded of how good the Lord has been to me. You see, every time we compare ourselves to others and become ungrateful for what we have, its like a slap to Gods face. God has blessed us with life, health, love and prosperity but we lose sight of that in the seconds of a scroll. Picture this. Your child asks for a toy in which you finally give in and buy the toy. Once the child has the toy, they start talking about how much they would love this other new toy!! How insulting right!? You think to yourself how ungrateful this kid is. Well..are we not that ungrateful kid sometimes?

With all of that being said, I just wanted to come by and remind you of just how blessed and amazing you are. God made no mistake with you and He has you right where he needs you. When you find yourselves focusing on someone else’s life, look around YOU and look at your blessings. We all have different paths for different reasons. We are all here to inspire and encourage others with our very unique and personal stories. A good rule of thumb is to remember that (1) you don’t know what that person had to do to get to where they are and (2) is what their showing even real? In the age of social media lies tons of smoking mirrors. Instead of getting caught up in the highlight reel, press pause every now and then and remember how great God made you. Just a little reminder.

Take a moment to remind yourself. As always, stay safe and be blessed. xoxo

30 & Running Out of Time

What Just Happened!?

Have you ever sat and thought, “Wow!! This year really flew by!” With every speeding year that flies by, we get older…and older..and…older. The more birthdays you have, the more you began to realize that you’re getting older and time is running out. The anxiety begins to kick in as you think of all the things you haven’t accomplished yet. Maybe you don’t have the cookie cutter life that society wants you to think you should have. You know the one. Married by 23. Two children. A house on the hill with the white picket fence? Yea, that one. Is that really realistic? Is it fair for society to put those type of expectations on someone? Regardless of your answer, we know that it happens and it is a very real societal pressure that we’re going to delve into today. Grab your wine glass ladies!!

How We Got Here

In many cultures, men and women are expected to be married and have children by a certain age. I was reading a blog post that in Chinese cultures, if a woman is in her 30’s and still unmarried, she is considered a “leftover” or undesirable. In African culture, the father picks a husband for his daughter and there is immense pressure for you to be married early and have children. My father is from Senegal, West Africa and I have definitely felt the pressure of this age old tradition. Can you imagine the choice of being forced to keep up tradition or to be an embarrassment to you family? The black sheep even.

These standards are felt even more if you live in the South!! As you’re scrolling through social media, you see proposal after proposal and pregnancy announcements. Its not unlikely that this will lead you to believe that you’re missing out or that somethings wrong with you. Honey, there isn’t ANYTHING wrong with you! These close minded traditional views are tiring.

Anything you do in life should be done because of YOUR passion and desire to do it. Not because your family is pressuring you or because you don’t want to feel left out.

It makes you wonder how many people rushed to get married or have children because they didn’t want to be looked at as “damaged” , awkward or as a “leftover”.

Don’t Succumb To The Pressure!!

As a woman who is in her 30’s AND a single mom, I have felt these pressures on a whole other level!! Coming from a Christian background on my mothers side and an traditional African background on my fathers side, the pressure is real to not disappoint anyone. From my own personal experiences in life as well as seeing “epic fails” in other peoples lives, I have learned that:

  • You CANNOT live for someone else. Some people failed in their own lives and endeavors so they try to project their failed dreams onto you in hopes of reliving that moment they lost. They lived their life. Live yours!!
  • Do what YOU’RE comfortable with and what makes you happy. Some people take jobs because their parents said so. Some people marry because their family said so or pressure from society caused them to fold. At the end of the day, can you sleep at night with the decisions you’ve made or will you live in regret?
  • Be CAREFUL who you ask for advice. When someone gives you advice they’re are sharing based on THEIR perceptions and beliefs. If someone married for money because they didn’t want to work or because they wanted to secure themselves financially then their advice to YOU may be to do the same thing regardless of love.

If It Makes You Happy

I don’t want this to turn into a soapbox session but I just want to encourage men and women to slow down and take a breath. Enjoy your life at every moment and know that God makes no mistakes. As we grow anxious and impatient, what may seem like an eternity for us is only seconds to God. Allow him to create the masterpiece that you deserve. That masterpiece could be a job you’ve been waiting for, a house, a husband/wife or even the ability to conceive. Whatever your desire is, it will all work out in the end and it will be well worth it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this read! Thanks for tuning in. Continue to be safe. Continue hygienic practices to avoid getting sick and as always, be blessed!! xoxo